Learning this from Chi Gong. No pushing, no effort whatsoever.

I suffer from anxiety. Feels like I always have. I remember as a child getting ready for school and nearly having a panic attack at the thought of missing the bus. That’s how afraid I was of being a burden on my mother who would then have to bring me to school herself. I was 5 years old.

This agitation settled in my bones and by the time I was an adult I felt like I was practically percolating. I was new to living on my own and having a hard time finding my footing. I simply could not calm down. I made a joke one day about wanting to take a drug to soothe this condition when my co-worker, a pharma sales rep, scoffed and told me I was experiencing anxiety. I had long heard the word but never knew what it meant as I was raised in a system of self-denial on the one end and stoicism on the other. So it’s no surprise that self reflecting on my own mental states was foreign and felt self referential.

So began my mission to find ways to feel better. I knew intuitively that volunteering would help and it did. One of the main ways my body responds to this anxiety is to seize up my breath. For years I held a low level tension in my diaphragm, making it impossible to take a full breath. I’ve tried so many modalities to relieve this: yoga, running, breathwork [helpful], psychotherapy [not so much] and more.

I recently found my way to Qi Gong and followed a guided meditation that paces you through awareness of your nostrils, sinuses, throat, lungs, diaphragm and body cavity. Which coalesced into a connection of the entire system. It was really interesting and for the remainder of the day I experienced so much more lung capacity. Fascinating how the mind - connecting to the body can create space instantly. My breathing has been more effortless. And something the instructor said has stuck with me. He explained that in this meditation it’s not advised to follow the breath in and out. That it's important to release any intention or desired outcome. That our breath, our very life force needs no muscling, no guidance, no instruction. There’s nothing to figure out or do. We simply need to observe and be attentive, that’s it.

What a welcome relief.

In my metaphysical world, the word intention is prized. Intention is bandied about as some kind of magic elixir used to create all kinds of change. Using intention, in the immaterial world, is how we gauge our effort and make our way toward a projected goal. Now, here is this guy saying it wasn’t necessary. He suggested that simple awareness, without guiding anything was enough. I felt the truth of this in my body. Which of course is making me rethink every other area of my life where I’ve applied intention.

Could this principle apply to your life? Can you apply your attention to a desired goal without trying to muscle it out? I’d love to hear how it goes for you.