A blacksheeps most undervalued skill.

This topic came up strong this week in class. For the last 3 weeks we’ve unearthed fear, doubt and judgment, a monumental task. So I mistakenly thought the tough stuff was behind us. I expected that as we pivot to the topic of our Power that it would get easier. But alas, coming into your power has prerequisites. Each one building on the next.

Chief pre-req to coming into your power is learning to speak up for yourself. I don't know how I had the grace to embody this at a young age. Perhaps it came from confronting my father re: a long held family secret that I got saddled with at a very young age. Maybe, it came from confronting my mothers misplaced rage. Or perhaps it came when I schooled my boss on the inappropriateness of receiving underwear from him for my birthday (the wrong size no less).

Now I wish all these had primed me for the monumental betrayals that would come later in life. Sadly those came not quite as a shock, but rather a naturally unfolding melodrama of the family blacksheep. Any other blacksheep reading this?

But here’s what the gift of learning to confront taught me: I can't be killed. I am, my consciousness is, literally and metaphorically indestructable. Every cell in my body knows this. And that is a hard won gift I would not trade for all the tea in China.

In the class, I came to a curious realization. Most people simply do not know HOW to confront. The how seems obscured by a gigantic fear of death. It’s this fear that keeps most things stuck in our lives. The simple equation is that we’re taught to live in a system that hinges our survival on: our boss, our parents and family systems. To confront is to literally bite the hand that’s fed you.

Now, if that hand also abuses you it’s in your best interest to start biting. It’s an ultimate leap of faith. Till you learn to speak up, nothing will change. Abusers and their complicit enablers will continue to abuse. And at the point that you mentally put all this together, and still chose not to confront, then you are making a choice to stay exactly where you are.

Screwing up the courage to confront? I’m here when you need me.