What to make of intense attraction

The concept of attraction can be a misnomer when what you really feel is possessed.

Folks, I been there. In college I went through an intense relationship that was toxic and abusive. I'll save that for another time. What got me out of that disaster was a very handsome "friend" of mine. I say friend, because despite a multi years long flirtation it went absolutely no where. Lots of heat, no flame. My dearest, most trusted girlfriends rolled their eyes at me (who could blame them). They confronted me to: wake up!! (I didn't).

I subsequently invested years of myself into what was essentially a lie, his promise of a magical future. Which begs the question, why? I only have some guesses:

I projected on to him all the magic I was unwilling, and too frightened, to claim and to be.

In my internalized mysogny, I wanted to amplify him, to stand behind him so that I could hide.

He was legit, one of the most energetically magnetic people I've ever met (I was helpless!).

Maybe we shared a past life (or a few?)

He served his purpose, to get me away from an abuser.

So how did it end? I wish I could say abruptly. But it faded, over time. It was not easy and my feelings for him lasted way longer then I'm comfortable admitting. Gratefully, now it's in hindsight. Gratefully, now I've become and I no longer hide who I am.

For folks that are suffering this cruel fate of possession, I offer some suggestions:

First, swallow the bitter pill that you are choosing this. You taking responsibility for your piece of the energy that creates the paradigm is the start of unraveling it. Nothing to do, simply acknowledging is enough.

Next step? Start asking the big questions:

What was the purpose of this?
What was I to learn from this?
What does this person represent that I am unwilling to do or become?
What does hiding in this entanglement get you out of?

And finally, get your energy work done! A lot of this attraction stuff isn't cognitive and no amount of talk therapy can unravel it.

And, as always, reach out whenever.