Missing my Mother in Law

I have some sad news, dear reader. My mother-in-law, Rosa Sasso, died on July 22nd. She was 84 years old. Less than one month earlier she had attended my son's 5th Grade graduation, pictured below. I can hardly believe she's gone.

She entered the hospital shortly after that graduation and within a few weeks she took a precipitous turn. She was admitted with low back pain - struggling kidneys. Then she contracted COVID and recovered. Then her kidneys took a turn and the remedy (dialysis), became more than her delicate condition could handle. She died peacefully just 3 weeks after she entered the hospital.

To say she was a force of nature would be an understatement. She was my mother-in-law and friend for 22 years and I'll never forget the day we met. It was the summer and Augie and I had been dating a few weeks. By week two we knew we were getting married and it was time to meet his family. I was nervous. I sat next to his mom and sister, attempted small talk, smiled, and spilled my water. As we left her house my future MIL stood on her stoop and sang an old Neapolitan tune. Her neighbor, strummed his guitar to accompany her. The entire experience felt like I'd entered a scene in the movie Moonstruck. I was a goner.

Little did I know that that song was the least of her generosity. Later on, she gave my husband and I almost $30k to finalize the down payment on our home. This was money she'd scrimped and saved over years, working as a factory seamstress and then a home health care attendant.

When I brought our first baby home she promptly quit her home health care clients to care for her first grandchild. At the time I couldn't quite wrap my head around this level of generosity. It was foreign to me, but innate to her. After my second child was born, I was headed back to work and overcome with emotion, trying to leave my newborn behind. She put her hand on my back and said, "Forza," strength. It was exactly the medicine I needed in that moment.

I wrote this dispatch from her home in Ischia, Italy. We were supposed to make this trip with her and felt strange and disorienting without her. In the coming weeks I'll unpack more of the mechanics of being a medium and managing grief. It's been a wild ride to say the least. For now I'll wish for you what she gifted me, Forza, strength for whatever it is that you face. Till next time...