Acknowledging Everything
and living without subtext

We all do it. Hell, I just did a 25-year stint of it. It can be called a lot of things:
• Chosen ignorance
• A commitment to stupidity
• Putting your head in the sand

What it boils down to is this. You know. You don't not know. The problem is that awareness comes in a variety of ways.
• we'll get a whisper in our ears
• flashes of insight that come and go as fast as lightning
• our bodies scream at us with one problem or another

Hell, I've had scenes from childhood that randomly pop into my awareness at semi-regular intervals. Only later did I put together that that was a pivot point of childhood trauma. Those "random" popping scenes were my body’s way of saying, hey could you spare a minute for me?

If left unattended, all of these bits and bobs of awareness become like a garbage barge floating through your consciousness. And the little bits of detritus that make it off that barge? Say hello to your disease: depression, anxiety, cancer, and so so much more!

But you know what we all do. We distract. We've got responsibilities to attend to. We're off and running and the avenue to self-understanding closes, till next time. So we keep busy. Sometimes busy for entire lifetimes to avoid the pain of knowing.

You know, that I know all about that.

More big picture, we've been trained out of listening, looking, and trusting. Literally conditioned by this reality to trust family, friends, and the government before believing in ourselves. Now I'm not a big conspiracy theorist, but given what I know now, it is concerning. The forces that would rather us not know, to not keep our own council, are immense.

But the antidote isn't to try to change family, friends, or government. Trust me I've attended enough manipulative and dare I say abusive family therapy sessions and social protests to know how futile those efforts are [not that all protest and therapy is ineffective!]. The more effective route for self-trust is to ignore all the noise and center you. Can you believe you? Can you trust you above all else?

I hope you can.