A sweet lesson I learned

I’m a cat mama. Have been for my whole life. Somewhere there’s a picture of me sleeping as a small child with kittens tucked into every limb of my body – my idea of heaven. Even as I type this there are 3 cats dispersed on my bed. I call them my co-workers. I once had a psychic experience with one of my cats years ago, as I was just beginning to understand myself. I was in the kitchen and when I looked at my cat Benny I instantly thought of the word: EAR. The following day his entire ear was swollen. I took him to the vet, got some ointment and all was well. I now know that was a lesson to encourage me to trust myself.

Cats are still teaching me a thing or two. And I wish I could say I always pay attention – but, like every other human, there are stretches where I don’t listen well.

For the last 5 years I’ve been caring for two outdoor cats. Mr. Bland, a chunky orange and white boy and a bruiser named Jimmy. Jimmy is one of those irredeemable feral guys. He’ll let me give him pets but then turns on his heel and bites me. Mr. Bland on the other hand, took about 3 years to let me get within an inch of him. When he finally did he rolled on his back so I could rub his belly and jumped on my lap just to snuggle.. He’s a good boy.

In this window of time I’d lament about not having a lap cat. All three of my other indoor cats are sweet, but won’t cuddle with me. The week before Christmas, something strange happened. Mr. Bland went missing and I was worried. He finally turned up on the morning of Christmas Eve and looked like he’d aged about 10 years, he was also struggling to eat. My husband and I scooped him up and brought him to the vet. Poor guy had a nasty upper respiratory infection. We got him inside and on antibiotics and he’s made a quick and full recovery. After that I put two and two together. Here is the lap cat that I’d been wanting, but was unwilling to receive. He’d been there the whole time and I resisted, with one excuse or another.

Do you feel better giving gifts than receiving them? I think this is true for a lot of people. We’re not conditioned to receive in this culture. We’re prized for our output and sacrifice. Receiving takes practice. And here’s the most important part – we all want something, but if we’re always in a gifting mode – which can be a form of control – then we’re not allowing space to receive.

So, how about you? What are you holding yourself back from and not allowing yourself to receive? I promise that even if it’s disconnected from what you want - it’s all connected energetically. Can I encourage you to practice receiving? Receiving compliments without minimizing yourself? Receiving gifts from folks without feeling indebted? Easily said, harder in practice, but give it a shot. It may open a lot up for you. Let me know how it goes.