And the first 3 keys of getting out of the loop

I’ve talked a lot about my relationship with my body, but I haven’t told you how this new intimacy got started. I had what I thought was a good understanding of caring for my body. I encouraged others all the time to take good care of themselves and thought I knew what this meant for me too. But the reality was very different.

I had my 3rd child in 2011 and between then and 2013 I teetered. I worked full time in a career I had long stopped caring about. My sleep was slipping and I relied on coffee to get through the day. We were able to refinance our home which gave me an out to leave my job. But the damage was done. I thought I was going to be able to finally pursue my dreams, whatever that meant. But my health fell off a cliff. I lost my ability to fall asleep and thus began a cycle of burnout and insomnia that I would not wish on any living soul.

Years went by and doctor after doctor provided no relief. I was left with the daunting task of figuring it all out myself. I’ve often compared this process to being an orchestra conductor with no previous musical experience. I was overwhelmed.

By 2018 I made the choice that I was going to recover my health by hook or crook. Mind you I had no idea how, but I intuitively knew there was power in making the choice. I got a clue that all this was brain related when I realized I could intermittently fall asleep while watching TV. This led me to the conclusion that even though I was managing some very intense physical symptoms, if distracted, my body would calm enough to allow me to fall asleep. Interesting I thought. I eventually learned that every thought we think, everything we pay attention to, including our personal relationships has a hormonal impact on the body. These fight flight hormones, which are housed in the limbic system of the brain, were stuck in the ON position, causing me a slew of chronic health conditions.

Here, I spent years waiting and wanting to feel better in order to physically get better. My new understanding was that I literally had to practice feeling better in order for the physical symptoms to alleviate. I began to experience relief immediately. But as with anything brain related, healing isn’t a straight line, it’s the world's most confusing, frustrating, circuitous loop, but I was well on my way.

I think the most important thing to understand about the brain is that scientists call it a “use dependent” organ. Meaning that as a device the brain makes it easy for you to perform actions and thoughts repetitively. So, if you suffer from depression, depressive thoughts and experiences are on repeat. If you have OCD, your brain keeps pinging you with opportunities to keep checking your safety. The brain's job is to serve up physical symptoms and thoughts that match your most conditioned state of being. That’s why I call limbic dysfunction the worst infinity loop. How can you possibly have a shot at change if your brain is stuck in a loop like this? Having been there, I know it seems like an impossibility.

In the coming weeks and months I’ll be sharing keys to restoring health and well being. Here are the first three:

Choice
This was the turning point for me. I allowed myself to believe that change was possible, based on absolutely no evidence. In fact, from where I was standing the odds seemed largely against me. Making the decision to believe change is possible is a frightening proposition. What if I failed? This is a question we have to continually turn on it’s head to: What if I succeed?

Consistency
The choice I mention above is not a one off choice. I literally had to choose everyday, often many many times a day to change my life and my health. I also committed to walking every day, no matter what. With sleep - without sleep, no matter the weather. For me walking was one of the ways I got back into the world. Find whatever makes you feel good. Commit to it and do it regardless of which way the wind is blowing.

Sensory Input
The brain as the command center of the body receives incoming information through our five senses. This info - good and bad - conditions our brains and bodies with stress and/or feel good hormones, preparing it for the future. In a limbically injured brain, it's the bad hormones that have wired the brain to illness both physical and mental. This creates an infinity loop of both physical and mental anguish. This repeating pattern keeps reinforcing whatever your predicament. And worse the predicament spreads like a fanned fire, which is why there is rarely one chronic illness, it’s usually an ever expanding list of ailments.

But here is some life saving information - your brain and thus your entire body can’t distinguish between the past, present and future. So how do we use this to our advantage? We rewire the brain with new information and we starve the mental loops and physical symptoms of our attention. The method is this: recall positive memories and conjure desired future events. This is key. As you bask in the visualizations, it’s paramount to pull in the rest of your senses: smell, sound, touch and taste. Light your imagination up with this new information. The body responds to the replay of events as if it were happening in the present moment with feel good healing hormones. Over time, and with consistent effort, the brain wires to well being, quieting the mental loops and calming the body symptoms.

Not gonna lie, this is intense work, real Jedi mind trick-type stuff.

So, the good news – change is possible. Bad news – we’re not wired for easy change. Creating health and well-being requires so much from us on every level. It can’t be left to chance or done erratically. I’ll have more tips coming soon. In the meantime, let me know if you have any questions and if you need any support. Sending you much strength and fortitude as you make a commitment to yourself.