And it's one of the most commonly asked!

What’s my purpose? Who am I? What am I to make of myself? How am I to serve? And on and on. I fell into this particular rabbit hole for a very long time too.

It’s not that anyone is wrong for asking. But it’s what lies underneath the question that irks me. Our dominant white, anglo-saxon, protestant culture has done an excellent job drumming us into believing that this question even needs to be asked. The DNA of the question implies that you’re not deserving of being here, on this planet, unless you're producing something, have accomplished something or have landed on some great meaning to your existence.

It’s all bunk, hogwash and baloney.

So, let me be a foil to this question and say you don’t need a purpose. You’re pre-approved. If you’re living and breathing, you don’t need to justify your existence and earn your keep on this planet. Choose the easy path and head straight to joy, don’t over-complicate it. Your joy is what this planet needs and that’s more than enough.

As for me, it took me a long time to figure this out. And truth be told, I backed my ass into what I’m doing now. Previously, I had spent 2.5 years trying to recover what was left of my 17 year career in design which I knew was no longer available to me. So, I tried to get a peripheral job as a project manager. That proved no easy task. The best I could get were temp jobs in New Jersey, since no one in NYC would return my emails much less hire me. It felt like a stunning downward trajectory from my 20th floor window on Madison Avenue. The good news was I no longer cared about the view from that window.

So, here I was, an older and wiser version of myself. I was still in the throes of some nasty chronic illness stuff, which consequently was a great teacher. I got fired from my first gig because one of the gals I worked with assumed it was her right to treat me like garbage. That was a hard no, and apparently saying so wasn’t allowed. Then I bounced to a gig in the marketing department of an investment bank. Oh good I naively thought, a staid old bank, should be relatively easy and quiet.

Welp, not so much. I worked there from Wednesday to Friday and was shocked by the drama, backstabbing and utter discontent of my new co-workers. I dreaded returning on Monday so much that I was vibrating with anxiety the entire weekend. My body’s protest, let me know in no uncertain terms that going back was out of the question. Distraught, confused and in tears, I sent ‘I quit’ emails to the temp agency and my 3 day supervisor. I’d never quit like that before. I was ashamed and embarrassed, but I was also free.

So in the days that followed, I asked myself: What’s the easiest thing I can do? What would be fun and bring me joy? And that was it, I made the leap, hung out my shingle and the rest is a happy and fulfilling history.

It all seems so obvious now in retrospect. I mean for Christ’s sake I was moved like a chess piece to the front door of Marge’s house. Our friendship had been so pivotal and monumentally important to me, and still is. I knew as far back as 2009 that she and the little yellow house had something to do with who I was to become. But I was in deep denial. I knew that accepting her as my mentor, saying yes to this psychic path, would change my life irrevocably. And it has. My life is vastly richer, deeper, more colorful. I’ve also experienced enormous losses in the conclusion of some relationships. I think on a subconscious level, I knew these conclusions were coming and I resisted, unable to metabolize it. This allowed fear to fester till the gift of chronic illness taught me to: become or die. It was that stark.

So, what’s your purpose? Can I encourage you to drop that question and its underlying implication of your unworthiness? Can I encourage you to find your joy? Can I implore you to simply do what’s easy? Can I ask you to pay attention to what lights you up? Can I hold your hand while you ignore your education, family, friends and culture and move forward into the vast unknown?

I hope so. Let me know if I can help.