No Right, no wrong
choose, then choose again

I had a meeting with someone recently that was stuck. The rock and a hard place they'd created for themselves was becoming a vice grip and decisions needed to be made.

I'm very deliberate when I say “they created” because a thousand other choices could have been made along the way so as not to end up in that tight grip, but they let the clock run out. They refused their own knowing and awareness to the point that they were up to their necks. And the water was rising.

It's a cute trick that I know from personal experience. The thing is, we usually do this when we've abandoned ourselves. We've made someone, something, or someplace greater than us. We do this to not upset the apple cart. We do this because we’re committed to remaining small. And we mostly do this to entertain ourselves with trauma and drama. Getting freaked out makes life worth living, am I right?

What they were most concerned about was not making the “wrong” decision. And what defines wrong?

Causing other people pain and discomfort, (the antidote: make yourself wrong continually so they feel comfort)
Knowing and perceiving more than you “should” know, (the antidote: dumbing yourself down, ignoring precious information, and generally denying your knowing/perceiving)
Being genuinely happy (antidote: make yourself do as everyone else does: suffer, judge, and delight in misery, then you’ll fit in!)

So they were functioning on a tightrope. So practiced was their self-denial that they genuinely had no idea how to satisfy themselves, much less navigate the mess they’d created. In a situation like this, there's only one thing you can do. Make a choice. When making a choice I always suggest going for whatever makes you perceive space and lightness over heaviness. “Right” and “wrong” are lies of this reality that help keep us locked into the looping outlined above. And heavy choices create more heaviness in the world.

The only problem is, we’re so programmed by the fear of getting it wrong, we let the clock run out and then blame the clock. Aren’t we cute? So, do you need help with some of this de-programming of rightness and wrongness? You know where to find me.