My 10-year Trial
My 10-year Trial
and the conclusion of a cycle
Oh, dear reader. I hardly know where to begin.
As you know by now I use my own life, my fodder, to turn the wheels of this newsletter. I do so because the discoveries I’ve made, my hard-won truths and realizations, and the wisdom I’ve gained appear universal in their application. I hope that, in sharing, I can spare you at least an eighth of the traumas and dramas I’ve experienced. I do so, also, to dispel any notion that I am somehow apart from you. I bleed. I hurt. I know physical and emotional pain quite viscerally.
The last ten years of my life have been nothing short of devastating, yet also miraculous. As for miracles, in my work with clients, we have achieved the impossible. I’ve known things about your lives that I should not know and hopefully given you valuable insight. I’ve facilitated miracles for your bodies, that as the rules of this reality dictate, I should not have had the capacity to perform.
Concurrent with the miracles has been an undeniable energy of “stripping away” in my personal life. A not so gentle removal of people, places, and things that have not been for my highest good.
Ten years ago this journey began when I dared to know that my 17-year corporate career had come to an end. I was terrified. What would become of me? How would I support my 3 kids, the 2 mortgages, 5 cats, and my 20-year-old car? I’ve often referred to this time in my life as stepping out onto thin air. It seems the only appropriate metaphor.
After that season I came to terms with the fact that my “friends” were not friends so much as they were people who wanted me to affirm things about them. Or worse, they were out-and-out liars, folks who pretended not to remember I was psychic and gaslighted me to my face. I let them all go.
Then there is the tangled web of generational trauma. At root were lies, addictions, and secrets in which my very young life was shaped. It’s these weights, that my body has carried most heavily via long-term chronic illness, depression, anxiety, and poor decision-making. This all culminated in 2018 when a season of adult-onset trauma began. My relentless pursuit of physical healing and my commitment to being me (no matter what!) brought a conclusion to some of my closest familial relationships. To say I was rattled would be an understatement. But my body – my guide brought me out of that fire with renewed vigor.
And now another chapter of change is upon me. It will take me some time to unpack it all over the coming weeks. Baby steps and walking gingerly are the order of the day. And roller skating. Lots and lots of rollerskating. In the meantime, I’m taking some time off. It’s time to be quiet for a bit. I’ll get back to doing readings sometime in May and I’m available for energy work and classes in the meantime.
Wishing you all a beautiful spring.