White, straight, cis, woman, me
identifications, do they serve you?

The title of this dispatch includes some of the ways I am identified in this reality system. There are so many more that I have identified with or that have been projected on me. Some more are: Black sheep, Chronically Ill, Savior, Addict ( I preferred Chemically Dependent), Codependent, White & Gentrifier (ack, Karen!), Mother, Wife, Daughter, Designer (till I managed to uplevel to Art Director, go me!)

Ahem…this is a lot, and it's not even an extensive list!

I got inspired to unpack the issue of identification when I did an Instagram post on addiction recently. As I was recording it I got a wave of tense energy. Almost as if I could feel in my body the collective resistance to the term “addict”.

We can get lost in any one of these identifications. And I get, viscerally, how they can help people to feel safe, seen, and supported in some of them. But is that safety true?

Back when I identified as chronically ill I joined a million mailing lists. I got “support” in what felt like a metric ton of Facebook groups. And then I decided to get well. Yes, go back and please read that again. In fact, the energy was bigger than a decision, I made a DEMAND to get well. That's the funny thing about the Universe, it really likes when you DEMAND.

Then I buckled down to the business of getting well. The universe lit my path and provided me with many choices. And with every ongoing decision I made I checked in with myself to see if the energy of the options I had to choose from matched the energy of the WELL BEING I suspected was possible.

And then I kept bumping into those mailings and getting constant alerts from the FB groups. I had to acknowledge that not one of these “supports” matched the energy of what I was going for. And that was it. I had to begin to disassemble my identity as chronically ill.

In all this, I wondered about how our identities can encourage us to disconnect from our awareness and knowing. And I began to ask questions. Is it true that once you're an “addict” you'll always be an addict, as we learn in the 12 steps?

Or could this also be true, that addicts are people who have used any manner of things to shunt their own awareness and knowing? And that perhaps if they make a lifelong commitment to their knowing and awareness their need for their substance, whatever it may be, could diminish?

That feels more true, even kinder, to me.

So, where do your co-mingling identities slow you down and trip you up? Have you ever noticed that in your identity groups, you've gotten lost in the charge of groupthink? Witnessed the unconscious behaviors of those around you? And that's the tough part of identity, it encourages us to check out. To give up our awareness and knowing. Maybe today could be a little different. Maybe you could claim the difference you are? I'm here to receive all of that ❤️